the worst and the sweet memories of mine

Recently it really happen a lot of things....

Sad and happiness been together...

the most sadness it is my close friends had betrayed me....

we were close friends and our relation like sister in each other....

on the other hand,

everyone knows that, if one of your sister that doing something wrong or not, thats should it be support and trust until you knowing the truth...

NOT, just standing at her back to "back step" your very good sister.

i'm supremely DISAPPOINT that she did not do that and tell one of my love and my others ignorance friends of mine....><

ANGRY!!!!!

i being one of my best friends had betrayed me once, now she the second person and both is a girl... =(

i wanna know that, how she really know all about me???? nope, she not...

and i just keep inside my heart...never really trust my friends who with me that much...

when i starting to know her, i though i found a new person that can be talk nicely and understandably..but sadness that she was not the right's one...

that night after our last chat, i feel so sad, disappoint till my tear had drops...

why she will do this to me, why they will thought me as that "bitches" who love to play a love one "hearts"...

so sad...deeply sad.

i remember they told my love that keep an eye on me, because they misunderstood me...scare i will hurt my love.

BUT, did they ever consider about that!!! we fight each other if it became seriously it cause we BREAK UP...thinking on another side that thanks to them if they really scare i'm will broke my love heart then their plan had fulfill already, because we already broke up right before they though i will hurt him....duh!! >.<

YEAH, THEY REALLY DIDN'T CONSIDER ABOUT THIS.....

Hell yeah, if think at negative side that they are trying to separate us up...thats not call helping but to ruins us all...mind of your business that this is our business not yours....you too annoying not because of your greatest heart...YOU IDIOT!!

my mom say that, a couple's that to have their privacy space...it doesn't mean not to share to anyone....but use your brain, if the third party or others know too much both of the couple going on that much..it will turn to bad side or many side...to protect your relationship is too protect your privacy in between your love's one. A good relationship is both of the party need to have a good conversation in each other thats will make it the relation last longer.

because the third party will gonna jealous or else and will start to ruins our relationship. And i was the victim, i was too late to bound out of "their" relationship.

Did they ever know i know too much of their "love story", "sad story" stuff and even their "family" stuff...that makes me have another higher minded of them...i had try to bounce of their business. maybe sometime i looks like didn't talk to them that much is cause they thought i'm change..haizzzz...mention that i'm very serious to them...
ya, sometime serious thanks their business and stuff =.=", and maybe because of this they strated not really likes me at all...and start to think negative minded at the back on me. the way i help is just give opinion not really stand in front of their door to help them. oh god...>.<
too bad is we help them much it makes them everything count on us "TOO MUCH"...

because she does not know what the true happen on me, and thought she knew everything about me. I remember, one night she call me to told about her hubby to me then suddenly we chat about my love(my bf)...because he have to go singapore working and i still stay to continue my study. Sometime i really scare if got anything happen that it just like my ex-boyfriends(first guy) does, so i crying told her "IF" really have no choice.."i let go"..ya. i still remember what i had say to her. After that, she change topic already so my story not really completely speak it out....then i bet she start to doubting me. but duh, ya she had support me but on the other hand she doubt on me. thanks for caring of my love's (bf) one, but still i should say on the rude way "mind of your business"..=.= we didn't need your help either, and we already settle down without let them know, because as i say this is our privacy that i meant.
sometime i do think about did she really start fell in love of my love(negative side), because every time she call me it will be mention about him. =.="

Na, FORGET about it.....

but i didnt blame her anymore, because it's not worth anymore...

but to tell myself, i'm not that kind of girls like "play girls",

alright then, here is my little story that she mistook me, why she think i'm the "bitches":

the first guy i love it is the person i love and also is the part of my mistake that why i choose him....

Erm, i'm not really remember how we had start but 8 months been together that we not "actually" been together..., just message at night, every time i find him..he do have an excuse, even been together, walk together but still act like friends, and he told me that he still likes his ex-girlfriend and hope can chase her back right in front of me...and he never told others that our relationship to others, seem like hidden relationship.. this kind of feeling border me very long time and disappointed and i just keep at silent in 8 months without telling any of my friends, because of he didn't told others so makes me that i can't tell....so sAD...=(

i hope someone can listen me!!!!

i keep this sadness, lonely, dismay heart in 8 months...

once i got the chance but why every time only i listen people story but no one willing listen me...

so i rather choose not to tell anymore...just keep deep inside my heart.

and i'm not here to judge her or the first guy and another guy, seriously..

i just know is time to speak it out!!! >.<

suddenly another guy had came, he know me and him are been together but he still wanna be with me...he started....

thats time i was really really that sad, and not one can listen my mine that i need to tell to....and i was very lonely that he(the first guy) could left me behind like this...on that situation cause i'm felt so alone, no love..then i had agree to be with him(the second guy). because i do it cause he(first guy) make me do this.... >.<

so my mistake had begun!!! i know i had meke a terrible mistake in my life... =( >.<

but, thank god had help me....i found out he(second guy)have a girlfriend right behind of me...i ask him "why"...he told me that i'm just his special friend not his girl-friends...suddenly i felt i wanna die....i cry all night long and no one know this happen....

no longer that both i had been give up....

so above this is my very worst memories and story ever X(

HAHA, but one things is

TIME IS RUNNING FAST....suddenly i met the one i love, and he is truly love me...and he is the person i'm loving right now.... =)

he enlighten me on, i feel i more talkative becaus eof him... well, thanks to her that she told me uncompleted story to my love at the back on me...

but still, i know whats going on...and we have argue...then i only told him about my secret...i felt very extremely happy that he won't care what i done before..he believe me..an i thank god that he believe in me.... ^.^

i was try to tell him when we start going together at the first time, but the reason is because i love him that i'm not dare to tell him...i'm scare he can't accept that will cause us break up...so i still keep in my heart.. =.=" but now i feel so freedom that i tell him the truth... =) thats how a longest relationship is "communicate" is part of every couple now...