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if you intersting come and like my page ^.^

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my early Christmas Present

Since i being transfer to Front Office in my very last department and it take me half year internship i was mention about all day long. Haha, i was mention this question all about all the time, because i was very very damn excited that finally my wished had come true, really "Going Home"; Not just only going back while i got holiday or off day. Only 12 days left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Na, again i have to say that i was very very miss home, finally know how miss home i was. :P

My friend was very missing me and we already plan to have a gathering since Chinese New Year, New Year, or even my birthday party. Some more i was intend to further my study too... i very enjoying studying, age, duh, i don't really care about that. Studying no count on age, even an old man still have to study too, am i right...just a knowledge of your's. But of course had to working to earn back what you wanted to. In this situation i understand that. No revenue how got income to spent.

On the other hand, about the picture i was posting is the early present i got... actually i one of a guest staying right i was taking internship was. Mr brown, he was really nice person, that time i saw him, so i was going to ask them as to get some feedback for the business survey. But since he say very enjoy but sad, so i was freaking out and say "why" my look was very shock. Actually Mr brown was the last day in the hotel and checking out and ready going to K.L for his new travel. He use to travel a lot of place everywhere, he mention that he will be to the hotel around next year on march, hopefully is haha..he say.

Later on, he ask me about the postcode so he can mail me his post card at london, so i gave him and he gave mind too. =) Suddenly my colleague say he had gave me a present and only me can distribute it. WoW, i was very happy i got a present by a stranger honestly, but it was an amazing memory of mine. Back to service line really is difference that at the back of the office... XD

December

Yeah Yeah YES, is DECEMBER   i'm so excited already since i being so far from now...i am waiting for that day ready to pack my stuff and sing hallelujah, but it is really gonna sing hallelujah because is almost new year eve that day...i can celebrate with my freedom and for the new year eve with my be loved friends.


i still got one more week in management department then soon i will be front office, and so also is my last final challenge because i won't take any off day during my duty, but i will claim all my off day and one public day gather in one last week... hehe..so  i can go back home early...wuhooo.... When i remind this moment i so damn happy and this feeling i believe that my senior and my friends does the same too ^.^ 


my mind will stay the moment and temporary not going anywhere but that day comes, hehe...sorry guys if they ask me go out T.T my apologize....hehe because i really can't wait, some more i already pack my things but not all =.= i still have to use what....


on the other hand, is the new year for me, i will continue my study once again..but i need to choose very seriously because is my last study and i don't want to be waste it....study while working to earn some money for what i had spend much in Penang during i training...once talk about money, my heart broken arhhhh.... >.<


but i will get back...i must do my best on it. overall in my 6 month training i feel is a very best experience of mind because i had learn much even in short period, especially in food, i like to cook by my own. don't know why, i just like to ^.^ sandwiches, pancakes, muffin, cakes, cooking that i really wanted to move my hand to make one now T^T aiksss...addict already....haha
and even is my sickness challenge during this sic month, i really really got a lot of sick and some i even can't imaging about it....haizzz i hope everything will be normal after i go home.


wish my the day come soon as possible =)

無所謂

衛蘭Janice - 無所謂 MV

This really suit my feel, my mind that i wanted to say long time ago...this music video help me a lot yes....

The One That Got Away

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

压力

最近压力真的很大叻。。进了新的部门

Event's sales and marketing

，听到名字好听咯。。压力很多工作每天做到晚晚才会。。很累！！不过也好啦，我另外一个问题已经不用在烦恼了。。我身边还有人支持我。。她们他们真的很好，我的心里真的轻松很多听了他们的支持还有我干弟的那通电话哈哈。。加油吧！ 现在已经十一月了快要进入十二月了，那时候是我快要训练完毕回来了，回我的家了。。我好像我的家。 以前整天不想留在家的我，我很想家，回到去也是想呆在家里。。那种感觉。以为我在外面看了学了很多很多东西，我看法也有所改变，不会对家人那么任性。想家的我也成为压力了。。 家庭我摆在我人生的第一步，第二是我的前途和事业，第三就是我的好朋友们。。抱歉啦，爱情的。。我不想要，也对我不需要不重要。我还是觉得自由自在的很适合我。。不，因该是非常适合我叻哈哈。。为什么因为我习惯一个人咯。。压力也自然减少。。你喜欢做什么就什么嘛嘿嘿。。所以“单身快乐” XD 回到去以后，我还有更多事要去做了。。读书是一定的，做工那一定是当然要的啦。。因为在槟城的训练，穷死我咯。。。唉。。。钱啊，又是压力。。压力压力。。我要摆脱你 >.<

Is November

WOW, Finally is November...on the other hand, is 1 November 2011 means 1/11/11..HAPPY SINGLE DAY is you are single hahaha....XD so do i, let's celebrate :D celebrate for freedom yeah...i feel free, and i prefer to be single..since the unhappy experience and the Ex had bother me very long till now...hope this nightmare end soon AS possible...because of him i would never wanna fall in love again, so terrible haizzz.... aiksss forget about him....it make's my mood going down again. ermmm, well so be it..let's talk about my training HA...still got one month to go YES. and here some changes, usually next month i will going to Chi the Spa, but since training manager had offer me go to event and i quite interested on it. so he put me in sales and marketing department and will start on next week. cool, i was wanted to go this department even i request he also reject me but now is my luck day...marketing yes, because after my training i will go to further study as major in marketing, operation for my next coming degree course. so now is the chance to let me know about basic in real life "homework". Not bad ya...i kinda like it. =) December is around the corner, and i will going to Front Office that time..well is the main subject in Hospitality Management, of course can dress nicely wakaka...their Front office uniform so nice (L) haha. so excited. wont getting bored because i had meet some friends in management department and we got hang out some time..hmm okay lu as long as is difference than before when i come here....and really really i had learn something new since being train here...cheessss....

YUI feat. Avril Lavigne - Complicated TOKYO

YUI feat. Avril Lavigne - Complicated TOKYO

Penang Live

So Fast that my training in Penang still got two month to go... now i'm slowly packing my unused clothes and stuff send back to my hometown. very excited right now, when i saw the calender on it, really take too close... some more, two department to go =D Spa and Front Office yes....now is in the middle of october...it should be Fun and lazy this month i guess haha. During i train but also got holiday in penang, because my family had come to visit me sometime...when they come to visit me is consider is my holiday...i ate good, go new place, shopping, temples etc. others will though so good because if me i wont be able to go anywhere... and we going to explore more area in penang....but after this december also i finish my training already...so our whole family wont be able come penang some other time already.... because we had know some penang famous area that's enough, plus here i meet penang people honestly i'm not really like them...because some people i meet is totally no manners no education..one work can be describe is "rude" .... i wont forget the guys who is very rude when i meet him in gurney plaza. overall that i wanna to say that, i miss my home, my hometown city is the best, my friends are there, they waiting me going back and i hope can see them as soon as possible...long time didnt go night life i wanna be naughty awhile arrrhhhhh haha.... rest day i will spend my time alone, because i wanna to be quite...although is the same place again but i rather be. independent that i wanted...just don't no why that people will ask me "you alone ah" this words....can i tell you is that a problem with that??? sighhhh boring question. =.=" i want, i like then just let me be....and this few's month in here i learn what during when i independent. is consider is the good news to me, i had gain some experience on it. i had prepare the next challenge already.

~~time~~

WoW, time really goes fast since i had re-reading my blog again...before that i was moaning to go home early and finish the training early.... but now, me had gone through my training already the 4 month ^.^ thats mean still have 2 month to go..aiksss...tension now... some more another things that i'm very happy is i had finish F&B department for long 3 months T^T now finally had finish the yeah...and one more news is my senior, my friends Fiona had move in beside the room, we become room mate again <3 time goes by~~ it really rally fast...i got to planing for my next year already...because i like to plan for what the next specially for my new studying subject. i'm gonna back to become student again...honestly i kinda enjoy while studying period...but still i will help my mom working after my training, i got this consideration that i will go back take care her business already...and i ready for it. on the other hand, since i in f&b department, i close to kitchen staff and will looking what they cooking sometime if got free time during working. so now i very like to cook, bake etc...i had learn something new for the new ingredients already...hoho..but now i'm training far from home so i can't have my own cooking machine, i would like to buy and to make my own creation ^.^ time really come and goes and never wait for you...when i look or remind back it is a wonderful memory while i had learn the things in rasa sayang hotel. my tracy finally had come penang already...since the day i come to training, i remember she told me that " soon i will come to find me"..but now she already in penang somewhere around in bayan lepas waiting her comfirmation only...wow, now really got a lot of friends surrounding between us already.... happy (giggles) that's "time really goes fast"

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Back again

Recently i long time didn't use my laptop online already, and so that i didn't write my story in the blog... feel so good to be back again.... since so far happen till now i already being 3 month during my training, still got another week to go then we going to my fourth month...yes!! why i always will mention that i miss home wanna go home, it because that i had know that how's important of my family. before that i use to wanna fly away far away from home to study or working...it because i never know what's going on outside the world yet. after i been to Singapore by myself i had finally find out that's not really important that need to go oversea to earning money, compare together actually is the same. some more i train here at George town, batu ferringghi right now..i saw more people than i thought and how their working for their family and had learn the best experiences in my life, it was amazing...iu can learn more knowledge in a short while period, i'm lucky! haha but still hoping that i can go home early, so finish my training early XD i had plan to go back to further my study again, after that will stay for working awhile then only see whether wanna go further working or not. because i can be with my family now why i'm not spend some time to be with them, i will be a good girl already...i found out i had change already, i'm not a punker anymore, i'm just me that wanna to be me and quite that's all =) and i like myself like that right now.

真人如漫畫主角 夢幻身材惹議

真人如漫畫主角 夢幻身材惹議

leave me alone

leave me alone... leave me alone... get out of my way... i don't want see you again.. never ever... since that day i had request to broke up with him... i feel what he do makes me sick and i very scare him what his acts right now haizzzz..... so scare so scare.... leave me alone

喪盡天良！科學家弄出來的人獸

喪盡天良！科學家弄出來的人獸

I'm Okay

Ussshhhh..since i go back my hometown body check up....before i got this news i was very terrifying. that i know is not a good thing when doctor want to see you. but still going back to see whats going happen...because since they suspect me got tenkki but then lucky it was not.
then before they know i got tenkki it because i already to the blood test.. on the other hand, the blood test had come out thyroid..so the doctor told me to go back...wow, i was very scare man, really very scare.

then i being second blood test again, please lah..i very tire of this..please pull the things out of my hand it hurts...and i feel very faint because doctor say my body not enough of blood already..easy to get faint. but lucky that day i going back visit doctor, the doctor told me no worry to much is not serious not need to surgery everything will be just fine...

that time, i'm okay and i'm so happy...so that's i'm gonna to celebrate..wohooo..i'm okay duh!! XD

鍾一憲x 麥貝夷《勾手指尾》MV

我最怕你问我　友好见面的经过 我最怕你讲我　太多发问会太啰唆 密集地短讯　可有过火　每事关心不懒惰 麻烦或爱到太尽　必须要分清楚 ＊那天我共你　勾手指尾 答应过会更爱你　抱紧你就有好天气 洞悉两心一意　才磨合完美　爱是了不起 要相处就要识得谦卑　我也会多花心机 去剖析双方心理　甜蜜谈道理 珍惜你　欣赏你　世界骤变都抱住你 我最怕你话过　某位确实很不错 我说爱理不理　我怎会话你那么多 但愿望一世　跟你探戈　接受高峰跟跌堕 沿途上有你协助　不怕什么家伙 ＊REPEAT 不要怕闷我有惊喜　万大事放心可以不理 我愿维护你　我愿陪伴你　坏事亦有生机 那天我共你　勾手指尾 答应过会更爱你　抱紧你就有好天气 洞悉我的好意　才磨合完美　爱是了不起 要相处就要识得谦卑　我也会多花心机 去剖析双方心理　愉快谈道理 珍惜你　欣赏你　世界骤变都爱定你 冧到你　冧得你　爱到下世先算入戏 

So What!!!!

today first day when to SPICE MARKET CAFE training...morning i may gonna start to know how to handle..but night thant's i'm gonna to prepare...you know why, doesn't mean i'm scare or what, becasue i know think comes you have to face it, just look positive to train some more it was only a month...but overall the days i work there plus the PH and Hari raya, National day. it is not fully a month i work a S.M.C...

talk about claim public holiday right, today a staff making me very piss off...hey as a trainee take my PH early is that any problem??? i already told three of the manager in the Cafe since i work at there..becasue i have to go back so i only claim early... but one of the staff, he say he is the one how arrange the schedule..and he is the only who say "sorry, i cannot approve you" and say that's not publice holiday here and what...means my PH...some more his hand holding some knife and point at me..seem like very beh song me...what the fuck lah...fist day work already met those lazy fella...why i'm say his lazy, if he lazy to arrange the schedule again...then don't take trainee go S.M.C lah..never saw a guy like this... grumpy fella... X(

Time Goes By

Hey, since now i only know that i almost finish my training "Ferringgi Grill Fine Dining" in Rasa Sayang Resort, Spa Hotel...now is my last week in this restaurant... =)
next month start i will be "Spice Market Cafe" the challenging during my training in between my 6 department i'm going the next, oh yeah baby...WAR time in that department..gonna busy busy and busy lol....

I realize that before i was keep on looking at my calendar hoping suddenly will become the end of my training XD....wakaka..but now, hmmm.....is faster than i though..some more this july is my worst month ever. know i say that, at fist being hit by a housekeeping cart and get injure my foot. second, backache, headache, non-stop fever, gastric some more...tooth suddenly bleeding during i wake up...body seem likes uncomfortable everyway...thats suck man...my medic fees had pay around RM198 for my blood test, specialist doctor etc... waiting for my full report right now.. >.< now hope everything will be just fine....

hmm...some more i just notice that my 6 month training will be full of colorful, because i going 6 department i'm going to training sooner...but still have to pass through next month first...wa....now suddenly hoping, ending next month soon XDDDD.....you see...muhehehehe!!!

NIGHT LIFE

ARHHHH...... i miss my night life, club life....><

Since i go to training already, i seldom go for fun releasing my stress already.... so, sometimes if i go chance to go back my hometown..i will go at least one day...
it doesn't mean that i go every time, it just i kinda like the feeling when i heard the DJ Beat in the pub...enjoy with the alcohol and move you body...this feel that's what i like it....hahaha XD

but never mind, i can use to be...even no night life but at least i hope i can enjoy the environment working while got music on it....got music only i can feel happy to working...weird right...some more night life right.... ^^

i know my motivation, i know my addiction...that't tonight will be fun let's dance..haha...usually i will mention that...awww.....just have some fun, nothing special already....
someone say, drink, heading for pub, waste money and not really a good image while heard you like or often go there....
ya, maybe money is the problem because alcohol is not cheaper... but some times go there you will feel so relax an wanna release all your bad things out of your mind...and of course it depends how you treat yourself, if you go for drugs sorry that's is totally not accepted...

see whether the situation, i just wanna enjoy my life...if can go for fun, i still will like to choose to go have some fun..... =)

what a bad day

i have a bad day during i training in George town(Penang)...
at first i have to send to banquet because hotel go function regarding the marriage dinner..so have to go...reporting for duty. in meantime, i being hit by a giant cart till i fall down and it injure my foot...and this happen before the function.
aww...it is so pain..but still have to working...

some more i know most of out manager in the hotel told us to learn something but honestly for this banquet practice i feel that we learn nothing just need workers on only...no salary or any allowance also...of course what some more got free workers(trainee) help them out.. =.="

aikkkssssss......

what ever, at least had know the cycle of the Chinese banquet service style....

now my foot had get injure, inside my nail had bleeding..kinda hard to work..but still have to work..so just so be it...i can handle that...because maybe next time they will be a another experience on it..who knows right?? all i know is hope time passing fast as possible XD

The Date in the calendar

since i go to George Town(penang) training almost a week, guess everything it just be fine...and now just had to start habit the timing i woke up =.=...
next week,i being applied for holiday to going my hometown...yeah, i can go back my home town..i love it...i miss my home, my family, my love one, my cat, my friends at there. so that's why recently i really read the calender very very often...because now my training just start and i hope will be end soon...haha..lazy feller XD

before i when to singapore more longer than in George town(penang) but don't know why i miss my home when me at peneng right now..or maybe Singapore usually i go have fun more than train i guess..Na...now everything will be just fine then...you see how's a week already....

and i still hope for next week lol~~~ because my anniversary with my love one but that day me not yet at home town..and he is really hoping that i going back to see him....ah....so good T^T....

calender...the dates please goes faster.... XD

training life in penang

third day in George town(penang) training now, the life make me feel so home sick and very missing my love one.

but since i got training, must fulfilled the training, this what is real social and working life outside the college...hoenstly at first day really not feeal comfortable during working, msybe i long time holiday make me feel so lazy to goes on. but since my love one told me, life have to goes on...if without experience out there..no matter you don't like it or not..you still have to do..that's what is working life is...and because of him...i will try myself then.

still have 5 more month to go..since now i just start..but will habit soon...i hope so...for me please don't get sick during working time...trust me, i know what the feel on it... =.=

and also i had meet a special person, Brian...he is foreigner, Switzerland. he really such a nice guys...since we work together in the first day...he also is a trainee like me, but he had come back train second time for his degree course. he told me that.... although we not in same department...but soon i will go another department next month, guess we are work mates lol~~~

anyway all the best of mind training life =.=

New challenge

Since after my Singapore training plan had failed...
now my another challenge at (George Town)Penang, malaysia....my new training life at there...
Penang life is totally difference than my home town..it is whole new life far from my home, but for me penang life is kinda similar like Singapore. both of major in tourism. so i choose to come here already.

yet i happy that i can have my new training at here(penang), but another problem is i miss my boyfriend...although very unwilling to separate but still have to because i have my training to go on, so better face the reality. my heart feel so unwilling because of him.

on the other hand, i won't feel boring anymore because i living with my very good room mates now. she is my senior in my college, we study in same course, same class before...but she is leave tomorrow because her training life is totally ended...so happy for her now, and she say she will continue her job in the future so i also continue stay with her haha...

very excited and tension my feeling is going on right now, dunno why. tomorrow is my training had start already. i should not tension right, since i got some experience in Singapore life, na..not some is a little lol~~~now just have to face the reality about tomorrow...
i have to grown up, i won't act like a child, won't learn like a child....

here i got friends, my lovely boyfriend and my family...that makes me wanna face more challenge right now.

i can say that " i never give up"

喜欢你

喜欢你 - 刘界辉

MY favorite Cantonese song

LOVIN YOU

The Vampire Diaries

MY BOYFRIENDS IS VAMPIRE.....the vampire dairies, "only one"

我的天使

我的天使

如果可以， 我想要更清晨；

如果可以，我想要更轻盈。

穿过雾，穿过云，

看着你的心；

是多情，是多疑；

是给你（天使）的讯息。

我蠢蠢欲动的爱情，就要飞向你

我美丽的天使

再也不神秘，只为你栖息，

我温柔的天使。

只要你生生世世守着我，

我永远为你甜甜蜜蜜日日夜夜，

真心爱着你。

我不相信，一瞬间的勇气；

我只接受，一辈子的约定。

穿过雾，穿过云看着你的心。

是真情，是珍惜，不愿是游戏。。

我蠢蠢欲动的爱情就要飞向你

我美丽的天使

再也不神秘，只为你栖息，

我温柔的天使。

只要你生生世世爱着我，

我永远为你甜甜蜜蜜日日夜夜

爱着你

Party Rock

LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem ft. Lauren Bennett, GoonRock:

this is my favorite song i ever heard....yeah..party rock in the house tonight..let's dance XD

Crazy night

yesterday night i had a lot of fun..whoa...never drink that much red wine in my life...

my special dude bought it for me and use to share to me...

so...

yesterday i when to his new house...all brand new inside his decoration..it was impressive me..specially the bar table =)

but the most impressive things is he go a small cinema inside his house O.O...that time my eyes was that big...his dad had collect all the movies and stuff, speaker, woven at least cost 60,000...decoration of the room more than 100,000...oh my god...both of them are pro in this =.=

got a lot of movie that all is bur-ray disc =)

then before we heading to barroom(pub)...so i suggest to watch movie in the room, his use projector to watch the movie...it is really feel in cinema ^^....
meanwhile, we enjoy the red wine...but the funny is his friends not really into it hahaha..i remember when saw his expression during drinking the red wine it was funny XD

lately, we chat and his told me a lot of working experience to me, what about his motivation, he told me that his motivation and the target is to gain more money and experience lately after 30 years old his say life won't that crap anyway....hmmm, i thought that only me we use to say my dream my motivation, my target....
well, impressive.

sooner no longer that we heading to pub for fun, i admit i drink more already...already feel dizzy that time...but still got the energy to dance dance right all the night XD
almost 3 something only go home..whoa, and on the next morning(today) i feel so blur when woke up, my eyes lazy to open and hope can continue sleeping....my stomach feel weird because much of red wine on it.....hahaha....

it was fun hell last night...i saw a lot my high school friends that night...oh that lovely..something like can gathering.... ^^

After the Storm

WELL, WELL, WELL

After the storm/the troublesome had pass through to me, now is turn peaceful came to visit me.

since 2 days that happen, now my life just gonna get started...

blek :P tonight gonna feel so high and take the G5 G5 again...i wonder why i still have the energy go through...

but i like this feel...long time never crazy like that night before, OH MY GOD (XD) addicted again about this life...

i use as my holiday because more two weeks later i'm gonna prepare my training already, try to focus on the job because is related my result too...

hmm...suddenly a girly me mood change to rock chick right now...i gonna be a wild child already =D

overall for this notes that i'm wanna tell is i kinda like this feel and this life now..i can do what i want and no one can control...hey wait, except my mom =.="

recently she like to control me anyway, well 1 week for me just only been out once then i when out in the same week then she say " going out again" ??? this is annoying me duhhh....

never seem i going to training, although is during my working..but i can do what i can haha..bad am i right...but my special friends will come to visit me and go clubbing again..whoa...he really like to club huh.... =)

FOUR SEASON

FOUR Scene of love and laughter, I be alright when be alone, FOUR scene of love and laughter, i will be okay

this four season i will learn how to growing up, learn more experience in my work life, and i will be okay....

and now;

Finally, leaving is the best way to walk more further...

the day i leave, ALSO the day you leave...

the choice i make

it change my life...

the hardest memories that i can let go now.

somehow, i remind when the pass am i are;

starring out of the rain ,with the heavy heart

is the end of the world my mind,

then your voice put me back again,

like a wake up call.

2 years i been looking up for the answer,

somewhere,

now i know is not been looking good there,

because i know, what i didn't know before.

because you leave, because you make me believe that myself when there nobody else can help,

because you leave,

is alright, i survive, i'm alive again...

cause of you, i been through a lot of storm.

because you leave, i meet a lot of special friends,

and there help me pass through the storm.

they enlighten me,

What is life? What the use?

Because you leave,

i carry on when i lose the fight.

And now i'm so glad that i can found my new angle around this world(lol),

some one!!

I want to fly looking in their eyes.

Not just you leave,

and yet there had everything i need to survive,

because i leave,

YOU leave!!!

WAITING FOR THE NEW BEGINNING, NEW STARTS.

Boy, i'm leaving never look back again!!

Go found the girl that who is better than me,

and now, no more guy can make me cry, no more grey sky.

NOW, let go flying with the G5, G5!! XD

And i leavin, never look back again....

go find your new girl...a**hole!!

NOW I'M LOOKING SO SO FLY,

THE FEEL CAN MAKING ME SO SO HIGH,

can gave me sing and dance all night.

you are the baddest little thing that i've ever seen

i tell myself, no stress no stress no stress,
just tell him to left left left,
you deserve but the middle finger XD

i will be very good after that, no more emotion, i bet emo just leave me a awhile...

to me, four season...

Four scene for the love and laughter, i will alright when i be alone,

Four scene, four four season, four season, i be alright,

Four scene, four four season, four season, stay with me.

Remember When

Remember when i cried to you thousand times;

I told you everything,

you know my feelings?

It's never crossed my mind that there would be a time.

For us to say goodbye,

What a big surprise.

But i'm not lost, i'm not gone, I haven't forgot

These feeling i can't shake no more;

This feeling's running out the door;

I can feel it falling down,

And i'm not coming back around.

These feeling i can't take no more;

This feeling emptiness in the bottom drawer;

It's getting harder to pretend,

And i'm not coming back around again.

Remember when.....

I remember when, it was together till the end.

Now I'm alone where i do begin;

I cried a little bit, you died a little bit.

Please say there's no regrets and say you won't forget.

ut i'm not lost, i'm not gone, i heaven't forgot

I'm not coming back around again

Remember when.....

Dancing Alone

This Friday night, nothing gonna hold me back,

And i feel alright.

No body gonna bring me down.

It's my life, and i'm doing fine.

Don't you know i wanna play,

so take me on holiday.

So here i come,

They come and go,

so i rather dance solo,

dreaming with solo,

it's feel like heaven.

no body gonna break my heart,

no one will hurt me like they did before.

No one can even get that part.

Not until i know it's deep.

This feel is just like Heaven

"Better of"

The sky is falling, and it's early in the morning, but it's ok

some how i spilt my coffee, it went

All over your clothes.

I gotta wear mine now.

And i'm always, always, always late

My hair was a mess,

even when it's straight.

BUT SO WHAT,

I'M better of everyday

When i'm standing in the pouring rain,

I don't mind, I think of you and everything alright

I used to think i had it good.

But now i'm misunderstood,

with you I'd say, i'm better of every way.

My friends keep calling,

"They say,they say i'm stalling"

And they wanna meet you now, i tell them hell no,

i say WE trying to lay low.

Don't wanna lose what i've found.

Things are finally, finally looking up.

My feet are on the ground, even though i'm stuck

BUT SO WHAT

I'M better of everyday,

when standing on puring rain,

I don't mind when think of you everything alright

I used to had it good.

The sky is falling and it's early in the morning, and it's ok

L.O.V.E

I'm talking about love

All girls stand in a circle and clap your hands,

this is for you!!

Ups and down highs and lows

no matter what you see me through.

Her Boyfriend don't answer the phone,

i don't even know where the hell he goes.

But all my girls we're in a circle and nobody gonna break through.

Say with me, L,O,L,O,L,O,V,E

I'M talking about.

L,O,L,O,L,O...Did you hear me say,

I'M talking about LOVE!! say you'll be my girls for life....girls for life.

Hold up, i need another onel think you,

you too, Grab my bag, got my own money

Don't need any man in this room.

NOw her boyfriend be calling her anytime

i need all my girls to keep him off her mind.

So hold up we another one.

What we got is all good.

I say,

L,O,L,O,L,O,V,E

I'M talking about love.

LOVE is energy, love is mystery

Love is meant to be true is a part of me, love is the heart of me

LOVE is the best thing we do.

Did you heard me say,

L,O,L,O,L,O,V,E

I'M talking about love!!!!

True Blood

Are you vampire FANS? here is the new movie of TRUE BLOOD, mention of vampire, the thrid season of this video....more information u can go click this link and see more information


On July 30, 2009, HBO confirmed that True Blood would be renewed for a third season,[45] which began shooting on December 3, 2009.[46] It premiered on June 13, 2010, simultaneously on HBO and HBO Canada, and contained 12 episodes.
Season three loosely follows the plot of the third novel of The Southern Vampire Mysteries, Club Dead, and introduces werewolves to the show's mythology. It also introduces the characters of Russell Edgington, the Vampire King of Mississippi, and his private investigator, Franklin Mott. In addition, some characters from the fourth novel Dead to the World are introduced: Crystal Norris as Jason's love interest, her family of werepanthers from Hotshot, and Sookie's fairy godmother, Claudine. Sookie's heritage as part fairy is also revealed later in the season, a major plot element from the eighth novel, From Dead to Worse.

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The end of my anger

At first i'm here to thanks about my very best dude, ken, Christopher, and Ah Fei. they are my very best dude and can trusted of my own. They are the guys that i'm very appreciate for, because every time they can think more beyond than me, i feel suddenly like being some body love me(no boy and girls love!!) because i'm the eldest in my home, and everything i have to consider about it. but when i encounter them i see more real life experience on them. so on the following story is they way i was talking to them;

since those troublesome occur since two week before, well i felt that i can't hold much longer then will go ask their opinion whether their opinion can help me pass through. what they say is truth, everyone might have hard to forget especially the first love, even their experience yet tell me, they have the same experience of mind....her first love gone or left will cry like a baby...haha, i laugh suddenly! but i'm can't tease them either, because i'm doing the same like them, something irresistible making me wanna cry out loud.

plus what he doing his act making me so not willing too...everything is just me that no willing too will keep inside my heart that long, because no answer that why he will do this to me, when i left him, he yet also say nothing to me, i know he sad too...but why he still say nothing, why????
some say that is his style his like too, or he like to be underground or it because he still love her ex-girlfriend. but hello, if still love her why wanna be with me, or he never know how to reject a person?? hey thats not a reason and not rational.

i know everything i stubborn on what the heck he do before, start and end nothing else....that is not relationship...that's why my wound never recover. hey all i want is a man can take care of me, i want is just a simple request, no distance.

since they tell me that, almost the same reason...just let go, everyone do have the pass and they say i'm choose to no hated him and continue our friendship means that i'm grow up more mature. because i know that i'm not into hating a person, hate this feeling making so weak and sick of tire of this shit. so i just rather, to be happy again and look beyond more perfect. well i cannot hide forever and so do him, yet have to face to...no turning back again.

An also i have to thanks to AH Fei, he is the one who change my mind, since i so stubborn on him it because i wanted to revenge on him. why i say that because he tough me "even u got your revenge, then? of course u will feel happy in a short period, but after that period, how you feel? would you ever feel worthy conscience? He told me very seriously, what you got after the revenge? i'm say nothing suddenly, then he continue and say ya you got your revenge, sooner you will lose your friends, lose your love, lose your money, also will spoil your image anyway, at the end you will lose everything!!!" you will be get hated and their will get revenge on you again, what for! suddenly my mind had empty and i can't reply him anyway...and i say, ya..you teach me a greatest lesson.

the sentence that Ah Fei told me i feel so relax and yet means i really have to let go now. then he bring me go for clubbing for a whole night, and i totally get into it..feel so happy suddenly, feel so nothing already...and i can be me again. really thanks to him, he is really special guy among all of my friends...because i got this feel on him.

SOME OF MY FRIEND SAY THEY HOPE CAN GO BACK, LIKE THEIR OLD TIME, THEIR BEST MEMORIES BEFORE AND HOPE CAN GET IT BACK.

SORRY, BUT ALL I HAVE TO KNOW IS REMIND BACK MEMORIES IS GOOD, BUT " MEMORIES WILL MAKE A PERSON VULNERABLE AND IT IS HINDRANCE "

I choose to look forward again, and also will wish him all the best for his future.

i'm gonna reborn again!!

really thank you that my very best dude, i will listen what you guys opinion. and i know this is my very ending of my anger.

i can say that is "the end"

Wondering

Last night i'm hang out with my friends for have a cup of drink at McDonald, we chat just more than 5 hours even when they fetch me home and yet our chatting still continue till midnight.

we chat a lot, chat while we meet, how long we meet, every time after class sure will go got get some drink or sneak out during the class in on. haha, i like that feel it just going back to study life. mention about our working, future where should me focus on. suddenly my friends ask me how was me and him anyway....i just smile on it and say well at least we got chat some how, i feel wanna know more news about him so i ask how was he now, after go trip with you guys seem so fun ya...and ya, my friends had mention a lot how they nice enjoyable trip in langkawi and so do him be included. he told me that he was going to KL to getting his job right now so that why he will miss the gathering.

well honestly i not really that surprise i will know he will miss the gathering. i just told my friend that i can't let go since i left him that day...my friend just told me, what you going love him again??? i just tell him not i won't again anymore...maybe i just wanna know why the reason only, plus during my first time will get such kind of experience is really hard to let go anyway.

now i just wondering he was ok somewhere out there, everything will be ok and hope we will meet again.

Tearin up my heart; Never Stop

since recently i wrote him and the previous story in my blog because, i don't know what to do and i still remember him(my first dream). today at noon, 4pm...i went back my college to get my result and also to my acceptant letter from the hotel that i go to training. i saw my friends in the class having their lesson, i felt so happy in came out from my heart, it just like i back to my college life. they also so happy that they are happy to see me back. but i can't stay for more longer, so after i got my letter, then i just walk out the door.
Suddenly i saw him, he looks difference already since i be with him before 2 years ago. and he with his friends outside there, so of course we got greet with each other, but honestly my eyes had stop by to stare at him while he didn't see me; when he saw me my eyes wasn't look at him at all, strange isn't...why my expression so weird. the feeling i can't explain, that i encounter him with no ready for myself. i started lose my mind again that time. my mind, never stop....i hope it will stop one day, ended soon!!!

Tearin up my heart when i with you, and no matter what i do i feel the pain with or without you.

Boy i understand thats why can't be lovers.

They something getting out of our hand, just let it go....

try so hard but still can't win in my heart,

if you wanted me boy let me know.

but boy don't miss understanding, i'm not here to wanting you back.

what i'm gonna tell ya, in the corner of my mind,

we just wasting out of time.

Tearin up my soul, when we apart and i feel it too.....

and no matter what i do, i still feel the pain with or without you.

no matter what i do, i still feel the pain,

with or without you.

NOW, WHAT I KNOW IS

I Never Stop

Do you believe me, all the said and is done,

all the lies,

i very regret now, i am a loser.....

and you shining like a Sun.

Tell me why i can't still be the one.

I will never stop, to stop paining, my heart will keep on bleeding..when just getting your news.

don't you understand, i never stop...

and i know, boy there is no turning back....

say that i'm crazy, and i understand only if this is gone.

even tell my friends, or my close friends...what they had answer me, don't think too much, we never expect will happen since that way, look positive, look forward, well if they don't understand please don't came and ask about this question, i will never stop don't you understand.

no matters what i do, i still feel the pain.

Again

This few day my mine never stop running only in one version, it keep me remind on him(my first).

started daze in every single minute when i sat there.

still remember what he had told me in the message, "wanna hang out"...i wonder why i looking forward on it...and this day will be on next weekend in some other's day in ipoh.

oh my god, i such a fool again...

i just climb up from the river and now i'm gonna to jump down again.

will remind about nauseating memory in that time with him again. >.< what the!! two years ago, when i first came into college that life again, miss that life suddenly. i'm wanna take some time now, wanna think, searching, not waiting. i know if i can heal my wounds and my pain one day, i need an answer's from him. the pain and shadow i never forget it. just an answer, that's all... i know won't happen, so i still will face the truth, the reality...and because of him, i'm know i stronger before since 2009 January, day at 12.00pm noon that we meet. what am i doing..keep on thinking since that day, oh is impossible >.<, leave me alone...

no again anymore!!!!!!

Excited for my next challenge

Wow, Today i so happy because since i come from Singapore...i was very tension about the how was my training anyway..i don't wanted to be delay the date. >.<
but today i just got my principle call that telling me the new's although is a bit late i when for training..but on the other hand it is a good start =D yip yeeeeppppp....

First i can meet all my friends a there, my senior..this feeling had gone since i my semester had ended, but it gave me back and it coming soon already...i won't be that bore and alone anymore ^.^
plus i just know my hostel it was a nice place although i not yet see in my own eyes but my senior say so...it was so great...

so i will use this chances to improve myself more and gain more experience, because for my permanent job, i had set for my future already..i will show them what they do is wrong, since before i training at there it was a unhappy experienced...so i will plan to go back again. i won't lose, thats how my feel right now, and i wanted to fulfilled them with my own hand my own experience.

i will so into working right now....it is my very own time to do this already...
yes oh yes, hope can come as soon as possible haha...
(sorry that, readers because when i wrote it here cause i so excited and out of control already)

my plan a had failed then i will got plan b, there always have a plan on it =)

Strange feellings

why i say this is my strange feels, this is because he show up in my message since i come back from singapore and he get the news from my college friends. since the day i come back from Singapore. suddenly he had found me in the message, and i feel that he is very happy that i had come back. i remember before i going to Singapore that he also ask me, are you going to Singapore? and i say yes, then he never reply me, for me i sense he feel so disappointed.

but one things happen to me is, he message me that day...i felt so happy it came from my bottom of my heart. he know me already come back so he ask me wanna go hang out some other day, suddenly my heart seem like going back the day i meet him. plus he so automatically, means his movement making so surprise.

on the other hand that, why he show up to find me at the first move, i was try to forget him. i am why my mind keep on thinking about, something like dreaming that will be back again, but i understand that it was no dream but reality. If he still love's me, why he will do to me before, why?

if really,

i hope can be more clearly,

can he try to know me more and i hope i can know him more....

am i think too much, am i doubt too much?

is this is a message?

the foolish of me are trying to love him again...

never be so surprise, just rather sacrifice for you...

if you promise me to protected me for the rest of my life...

i very willing everyday every minute loving you, sweetness, royalty loving you...

would you?

i don't trust about, brave to face the problem, i just wanted to be promise.

hope can know you more...

i wanted is truth love, truth heart, no game in my heart.

the foolish of me and trying to love him again!

~~WAIT~~

why i got this feelings and why i still would wrote all of this...it because i know, i still cannot forget him. i love him so much but yet hated why he make me love him, why i will love him so. it's already 2 years ago, my mine still on him, means my wound still here...my pain still here. now i understand that i just only ignore it not forget it.

BUT...

i will still look forward, because i got my task need to do now. i wish can be fulfill, my work my future...i will focus on working right now.
hope, my friends don't keep asking me about relationship right now, it they are smarter one.

Disappointed

Though everything will be okay,

though everything will be on the plan.

since training at singapore...

it happen some problem makes me very unhappy..

just wanna speak it out at here that,

DON'T BULLY OR UNDERESTIMATE OF MALAYASIAN!!!

some people maybe will think of benefits of some others country that go to gain their benefits, or some are wanted their citizenship....

but tell you....

maybe those people are really want to...with their reason on them

but sorry, for me i'm not greedy about others country citizenship, all i want is go to travel and learn their cultural that some i never be seen.

travelling still is my plan that i wanted to....

so at the end i choose to go back my country to continue my last training then i will go start with my beginning of my career.

just wanna tell them that i'm not weak, or a coward..it just now not in the good timing...

i will choose to be endure, and will enhance more stronger that i wanted to be...

the "needs" i want is more strong and tough right now.

all my mind is about career...

not career, where got lives, night lives, love and travel...

enjoy your knowledge not to try hard

training in singapore

since 2 weeks i reach singapore...

i saw a lot of things, that really interested on me...

i like the environment ^^

quite nice....

i got a lot of place, the most famous place of course we all must know, sentosa right =), i spend whole day at there..only can play more than i than though haha...at first i though is very expensive but now i feel it is worth to pay that price.....

vivo city is a nice place, opposite the river you can see sentosa right over there....and you just pay $3 snetosa monorail then you already can go snetosa...but hey, not include the ticket ya....haha

china town, it is the nice place and only i can "see" chinese words in that area...at there anything is made form china..you can buy some nice stuff an there....

marina bay say/sky park, it is the best and famous play in the whole singapore..and it is very successful place at there....hotel, and provide 56 high skypark to see whole singapore

flyer, nearby singapore area...is a big giant wheel in singapore....even now K.L, japan also got one....

orcheard road....shopping heaven..but to tell you the truth...if wanna save money better dont go there...some more those stuff is expensive also in sin dollar..

the most favorite location in my head, is "CLARKE QUAY", lol, you know why...it is the best place for alcohol hahaha XDD....got disco and bar....if wanna go shake your body go ahead, or if just wanna sit there enjoy your beer also you can find at there...
one things is, they got a lot of handsome boy man XXDDDD......
(for guys readers of course not only got handsome boys, but also got pretty and sexy girls ^^ )

bugis streets is the place for you to spend money...everything very cheap, but also is sin dollar lol~~~~~ but very crowded and pack....=.= cannot breath....

and also had try some others country food again ^^

but since i got to training,

2 days i been there...

i know i dont have time to go walking around like that anymore, at 1st my parents not beside me, my friends not always free because they also got working....and me have to wait only have off time then only can rest.... if got O.T i see whole day is only working....go home sleep, wake up work again....this life...although i'm just a trainee at there...but i feel like i'm be use like a real staff....they expect you have to know all the things already... is short period...
oh, well...they say six month at there training is short period but suddenly i felt that is quite a long way to end that lol~~~maybe, my friends now here work with me so feel a bit not habit....but since i work F&B line before..so i may can handle that somehow...plus homesick, miss all my friends at there...

anything is difference, environment is difference of course but for human of course i wanna learn how to survive on them...lucky i tell them i'm just a student go there from training so they might won't think i go steal there position...and i felt that they treat me so friendly o.o hmmm....is that a trap, i guess so...so i rather smile and be quite just go there do my duty thats alright then...keep my nose clean...
but another thing i found out that, my work mate all is malaysian, some is china and Philippians..no wonder they very friendly haha...but never trust them at the first place....

i got another plan after the six month training already... but now happy go lucky then... haha
there will be my area, wanna see me then go there and meet loh...XDDD

new journey

2 years that finally has pass so soon....

you know why???

college i mean???

i finish my college life, but doesn't mean that i already graduate...

still got training life to go....

6 month

i choose to go Singapore training...

and i very excited to go there....

because i like adventured, new place, new life, new people, new problem need to be face....

this feeling had push in my mind very strong...

so i choose there, beside is the nearest country far from my hometown...

but of course i hope, i can go more a bit further...but this will be my after planning....

i like travel but yet i still have to finish my wished...

but one things i still doubting...whether can really go Singapore to training...

although, i got the call calling from them...but i wished to try...

so more 5 days i will go there and get interview...

but also i got back up....penang...

ya, is one of my country, and tiny state but famous to tourism to visit...

it is a wonderful place at there....sea, shopping center...etc...

and i like sea..haha

i need to plan for my plan b also...if really....

let's see whether the future is....

i can't predicted the future...but only can created my own future...

my dream future there have more...more than i thought...

i wanted to get a highest education, i wanted have a good job, i wanted have to go travel all the worlds, i wanted have my own sport car, i wanted have a friends that i can trust to, i wanted have my love who really love me to...

although it listed seem so few, but when you put one step on it, i really a far far way from it....

but one this is, i'm still young and i will cherish my everything that i wanted to do now...

i'm not afraid to be an independence woman, i not afraid to walk this world alone...

only it could be myself then everything will be good....

my vision in my future is never stay here to be the same...i need more, i hope i can see the world...

not just see through on the movie... geographic channel..haha...i want see in my own eyes not the story from my friends.....

and now i just need to be peaceful, quite, excited, willingness to face my next journey that i wanted to face...

and i already prepare that what i wanted to face to...just let it be...when it's come, face and solve the problem on your own...

i wanted be more strong and more independence woman...

haha....

(hope readers don't laugh the way i thinking now haha)

Peaceful and freedom, wish to forget

Finally after the break up and the exam has pass away..i totally feel so relaxing and no such of any burden.

for me, i should choose to disappear for myself because haizzz...we are lover before but now is my ex already... when i saw him online...i which to offline...ya, this feel is normal when happen any case like break up. so better keep a distance and let the time pass by....

for me i feel that i had insist to hurt him, that now i am a sinner...for me to let go is waiting the time goes by...i can't forget because it happen...and i never turning back to hurt him twice again. do you think is very fun to hurting a person...i bet no everyone is wanted to be...

even my friends also try to calling me out to make me feel better. and thanks to them i really feel what the feel are "Relax" since this semester start till now. all the time i feel so within to keep myself in the house...maybe that time i was in love... and love is blind will cause anyone will willing to do anything about it.

but after that, i feel so peaceful and suddenly freedom had come back to me again. this feel that i had long time didnt feel already....
whoa, this i didnt mean that when i was in love that i got no peaceful and freedom..please reader don't mistook.

peaceful for me is i feel "silent", had lost one who caring before, now i'm all independence again, and i rather be independence woman...
freedom for me i feel "anything and everything i can do", very difference to me and will trying to habit again about this independence life.

but for me i can do much things that for my future, now i was very patient to wait my future call that which is mean i getting oversea to training, working and start my independence life. if i can do it, i which i can go more a bit further once i have my own business....

business business, social is me gonna to do now...and hope and i forgot it as soon as possible that i can, my decision and my pass...i wish can throw all away, and tell them i'm good thanks for the concern.

i can't lie anyone, but please people do not lie to me...

i try my hard to forget and to let go and disappear in front of you. feel that i don't have the right's to be old time again...

am i avoiding?? i feel that i just can't hurt him again so i rather be quite or better disappear.

leaving sensation of my last quotes

i think about very long time about this question about breaking up with him....
although why he keep asking me why i will break up with him... there only one reason i will decide because of my sadness and disappointed...and i losing my feel to him...

why he keep asking me we been together that long, and how he had spend his times, money on me...so far for me i also had spend my time to him and money too....

why he can keep asking, why on my friend birthday, i can hug him, kiss him but the others days i don't....can't he feel that i was trying my best to getting my feel back to me. since he come back to accompany on march...

why he will keep asking me, why i only tell the truth to him that late that makes him hurt that much, hello, u think i'm not hurt?? u think i just simply requested to break up it because of no feel anymore. i hurt more than once it is really need to take time to put it away, even i let you see i'm feeling nothing....pretend to be strong thats my styles......

do you know, i cry every night that without telling you, every time we argue, even we break up i also had cry everyday...so pain, like a knife had stick into my heart...

if u insist say so, i can say that why you never tell me the truth that you going to Singapore that time?? we should better end till that way, it will makes us not feel that fucking hurt anymore....you can say i can simply end our relationship, find that i never mind...

if we never start then we feel more better than now.....

yeah, i admit that day i told i'm not feel at all, but after break up, i very guilty because i'm insist that i had hurt you since you the first time in love....i don't what the feel is that, feel?? or just sympathy???

i'm not a good girlfriend, i'm very selfish, no sense of generous and humor... don't know how to make joy to him...

i don't want to be with since i got no feel on him...because it is unfair to him... better separate that both of us can calm down, and start our new life again...

i'm ready to cut my hands of for suicide..just think but didn't really wanna to try..

i'm just know that my hurt is weak, tire already, just don't hurt me...

aiksss...i suddenly no stress after i had tell that i wanted to tell to....nothing about this aynway...i just wanna scream~~~~~~~~

i will disappear awhile, good for me.....

it remind me how i love him once that i ever have, he had gave me what is the meaning of love....

i love him, that is true but now..haizzzz i can even can explain why?? no one knows...

love is so such of miracle, when it's come, it's came so sweet and suddenly, when it's gone, i can't accept why it is gone...so soon.....and hurt's in my life....

i'm tire....my spirit are tire....
我没有后悔曾经我们有过那段回忆，我也没有抱怨过什么。。。因为曾用心去爱过。。。

既然我败了一段美好的爱情在自己的手中，接下来看缘分了。。如果我们还有缘分再相遇，或许还可以继续下去下一段的感情
~~~~~rest in peace~~~~~~

Friends

i wait for you to give me sign

you tire me,

about how you feel, how your heart works

i just to need for sure.

IF.

i ask you out, would you smile say yes??

IF.

i share my things to you, would you share with me??

IF.

i believe you, would you believe me??

IF.

then i sing a song to you, would you told me to sing again.

~~Friends~~

there have so many things that i need to know,

what make you strong, what makes you break, what do you love, what do you hate.

what make you laugh, what makes you cry, i need to know,

i need to know.

IF.

i ask you out, would you smile say yes??

IF.

i share my things to you, would you share with me??

IF.

i believe you, would you believe me???

IF.

then i sing a song to you, would you told me to sing again.

~~Friends~~

Hurts

Now i see, i see that:

Everybody hurt someday,

is okay to be afraid,

everybody scream,

everybody feels this way,

then say that's okay....

just say that's okay.

some many question of your mind,

many question that need to know.

when things happen might need to know what is begin of the answer, and how the end of the answers is...

TRUTH

had came out everyone mind...

EXPLANATION

hope can makes things right

SEE

can see is that the truth or false in your own eyes without heard any one of your friends language.

FEEL

feel that what u had feel and how u feel to.

calm down, when anytime get hurts, calm down, when every time u feels sad, if it happen even close your eyes can't even stop your anger, your sadness, your tears...

why don't you just go scream...

scream then let go your anger then you feel so good to be calm again.

some times, when problem come from other parties, it giving you a frustration and you don't know how to do, and you wish to know the truth....

i can't say to go ask why, because if the parties does not willing to tell the truth. i can't do anything, only if you point in front of the parties head with a gun, but this is impossible to be happening.

you are strongest than before, no things defeat you at least you defeat yourself~~~~

hold on tide!!!!!

To the parties(boy):

wish the parties who understand how the innocent people who done to him before.

wish the parties grow up fast,

see who the person you really need to cherish for...

the person hurts you before, if you can't forget, please just let go...

because not one force you to forget, but look forward....there have no time machine to let you go back before even how you miss it, time is golden but also is very cruelness.

now they have some one better than before you meet, why don't you let go the part and start for new life???

is that hard from you???

people say time can let go your pain, is true...me is an example!!!

don't let the pass bother you, it can't make you grow up only just stay at the same place...

no one who willing to wait you, only the one who wait you, and it is with you now.

Lifehouse - First Time

i feeling alive all over again, as deep as my scar under my skin, like being in love, she say for the first time.....oh yeah...nice...feel for the first time for the first time..... ^.^

Sensation

Recently i felt out that the beat from my heart had back to the start.

is me again, a happy emo now

but~~~~

the love one, is not with me....

i always told myself that, is ok, i will be there very soon to him....

can back to our life with each other...

no need both of us always waiting who's gonna to online...

Me~~~

as long as, go to college, assignment, revision...

i didn't go anywhere, no entertain...

got things want to share with my close friends, but she working, only someday we both met each...

i don't know who i should talk to...

so i wrote here..to talk to myself.

Steph...

i miss him, miss him so much...

which the time that can running to MAY...now!!!

sometime i alone walking down the street, see a lot of couples...

i rather, silent~~~

but i so admire them, they so sweet, walk together, talk together, laugh together,

but me, and i know how his feel is same as i...

so admire that they can contact anytime...

but lucky will still got contact to each other too...

sometimes..i feel like i'm already lucky one, better than far long distance, difference timing couples...

why should i moaning about...

na~~~~~~

just need someone to talk to...

i guess is me, is me talk to myself...

my birthday is coming this weekend and he is not with me...

although i told him that i'm alright, but my heart....

is okay,

at least go my family with me...

no mood to celebrate with my friends at all...

because my mind just for him....

hope can see him, touch him, kiss him or even a hug...

i wish that i have a "wishing door", that once open the door can reach to him immediately...

i never blame the god, because god always is fair to us...

.....

stop crying now....

why don't i just started to do is;

patient,

endure,

be happy,

be strong,

waiting,

is us to continue now our FATE, we should write our FATE not our friend and not even god either.....

is our FATE...Both of us~~~

Someone say, "FATE"..is not just sitting here and wait, it is you go create them...

create that it just like your dream to be.

rationale~~~

so i should start my dream, and to fulfill it...

Run to you dream and caught it.

To Believe, and expecting.

the better quotes to you

Sorry that i did not know you are trying to make me turning back to you as old time...

but too bad, i didn't even saw once of your action that you were trying to make me turning back.

plus for me, don't you know that this is the scar in my heart...is hard to forget and i need some time to cover it...

don't your sister tell you? how i feel...and don't you know that how she say try to give you a chance, can be the old time again...,did she tell you???

that time i was know that, it was not your fault because you never know the truth...at my back...

and did you ever know i that i give you a chance because of her but you... and i already insist that even become a friends, i may keep the distance with you and "things that never be the same" again....

and did you know that, i make up my mind to reply your message and chat awhile to you??? because i know that you were trying to talk to me...only "that time". so i should be a manners that to reply you...

and did you know that, why i told you " call me steph will be better", sorry that is it obviously that can't be the same again, and my heart can't accept "you" as my sister again...so PLEASE DON'T CALL ME SIS"...

AND NOW,

YOU USING BACK AN OLD TIME THAT I WONT BE ABLE TO TALK TO....SECOND TIME YOU USING JOHN TO SCOLD ME BACK!!!

1st time, i understand that why you will so angry to me because of him often came to my house chat with and sharing his song to me....never mind then....i forget about it...because even he call me sister that i'm still a female in between on him so you will be no happy....

2nd time, you say is me to tempt him out because "i want go to clubbing"...FUCK!!! Don't you ever blame me without knowing any fucking things...i know you never satisfy me that everything i done to you and him...
i don't have ever invited you guys to go with us to the pub because i know the fucking thing that you always told me that you DISLIKE him he go pub!!!!
OKay let me show you little Girl, that night me and my love had promise me to go for fun at night....he told me invited friends to go, but to bad no one are going that night,and because of he say he promise and just only both of us go, so he call your husband to join us....but who knows your husband no matter what that he still wanted to go...and start argue, that time i don't know anything after my love told that, better cancel and not to go...but like you say is too late...duh!!!
then after that my friends suddenly call me back, go participants that we only go out again....that's the story it happend...you do not know

but still i admit that my love because of me and he had promise me, so we go by ourselves...and i didn't blame him why he call your husband and make unhappy thing on you....and i didn't mean told you to blame my love, just blame me as you always like to blame me......

I'm sorry DUHHHHH!!!! to make you sad that time....and thanks for your true confession that you are really not satisfy me all the time, i already knew it....

On the other hand, sometimes that does make me feel no quite happy it because that you always find my love but me...even in the chat box too...
you also will get angry because of your husband always go to my house that time and scold me too....
hey!!!! me also will do the same too... i do also will feel angry because of you sometimes.
because even you call him fiancées before, that you still a girl in between a boy...

Don't you ever feel so uncomfortable even his friends or his sister call him and close to him???
i think you know stupid at all....

well thanks for your true words...that NOW I ONLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAY YOU TRYING BEFORE BUT ACTUALLY DIDN'T...

NO NEED THANK TO ME, NOW I FEEL I JUST REALLY UNLUCKY ONLY.

WISH YOU AND HIM SWEET AND EVERLASTING LOVE TOO....

Modern Russian Music: Yulia Savicheva - "If there's love in your heart"

m.o.v.e. past days～追憶

This is my favorite, because is very meaningful =)






MY FAVOURITE =)

安静的力量(The power of silent)

我认识一个朋友他很会写诗；

他是一个可以认真的和他谈心事的朋友，

我也最近跟他写诗去了。。。

感觉很不错，

写诗可以描述你现在和过去的心情；

每一句都包含着很重要的意思。。。

原本少去写blog的我，最近也会去想要写什么让大家可以去分享

我正在学习如何去写，这样也可以让我对华语拼音也进步了。。。

这首诗”安静“是我认为最好的题目，

它也包含着个人的想法和思念一个人的感觉。。。

每个字都有纪念意义。只是已经不想去说明和解释了。

今天剩下的。只有一个疑问吧。



安静的力量是

静静的轻抚自己的疤。

我可以温柔的微笑着面对你的离去。

然后轻轻的叹息那一次的别离。

然后闭上眼一个人独自沉睡。

我可以漠然的看着我们美妙和有趣的故事。

然后戴上耳机来隔绝整个世界。

安静，安静的。。。。在回想我们快乐的经历。

另外，安静可以让我很自在。。。。回想我们珍贵又美丽的回忆。。。

哟~~~~~~~

其实我要说的是：

安静地做功课。

安静地吃东西。

安静地听歌。

安静地玩电玩。

安静地快乐。

安静地写博客。

安静地压抑。

那个。 你羡慕么？要不要我们换换？



有那么一些人。

唱着跳着年复一年。

永远的热泪盈眶。

永远的不知所措。

有那么一些人。

静着听着如复一日。

永远的无奈忧伤。

永远的压抑成狂。

Hey. 有感觉到么？ 那安静的力量。

如果现在在听歌。 会随机跳转到哪一首呢？



我沉溺于安静的力量。

我腐朽于安静的力量。

我习惯着安静的力量。

我享受着安静的力量。

不要拆穿我。 哪怕你已经看透。

the worst and the sweet memories of mine

Recently it really happen a lot of things....

Sad and happiness been together...

the most sadness it is my close friends had betrayed me....

we were close friends and our relation like sister in each other....

on the other hand,

everyone knows that, if one of your sister that doing something wrong or not, thats should it be support and trust until you knowing the truth...

NOT, just standing at her back to "back step" your very good sister.

i'm supremely DISAPPOINT that she did not do that and tell one of my love and my others ignorance friends of mine....><

ANGRY!!!!!

i being one of my best friends had betrayed me once, now she the second person and both is a girl... =(

i wanna know that, how she really know all about me???? nope, she not...

and i just keep inside my heart...never really trust my friends who with me that much...

when i starting to know her, i though i found a new person that can be talk nicely and understandably..but sadness that she was not the right's one...

that night after our last chat, i feel so sad, disappoint till my tear had drops...

why she will do this to me, why they will thought me as that "bitches" who love to play a love one "hearts"...

so sad...deeply sad.

i remember they told my love that keep an eye on me, because they misunderstood me...scare i will hurt my love.

BUT, did they ever consider about that!!! we fight each other if it became seriously it cause we BREAK UP...thinking on another side that thanks to them if they really scare i'm will broke my love heart then their plan had fulfill already, because we already broke up right before they though i will hurt him....duh!! >.<

YEAH, THEY REALLY DIDN'T CONSIDER ABOUT THIS.....

Hell yeah, if think at negative side that they are trying to separate us up...thats not call helping but to ruins us all...mind of your business that this is our business not yours....you too annoying not because of your greatest heart...YOU IDIOT!!

my mom say that, a couple's that to have their privacy space...it doesn't mean not to share to anyone....but use your brain, if the third party or others know too much both of the couple going on that much..it will turn to bad side or many side...to protect your relationship is too protect your privacy in between your love's one. A good relationship is both of the party need to have a good conversation in each other thats will make it the relation last longer.

because the third party will gonna jealous or else and will start to ruins our relationship. And i was the victim, i was too late to bound out of "their" relationship.

Did they ever know i know too much of their "love story", "sad story" stuff and even their "family" stuff...that makes me have another higher minded of them...i had try to bounce of their business. maybe sometime i looks like didn't talk to them that much is cause they thought i'm change..haizzzz...mention that i'm very serious to them...
ya, sometime serious thanks their business and stuff =.=", and maybe because of this they strated not really likes me at all...and start to think negative minded at the back on me. the way i help is just give opinion not really stand in front of their door to help them. oh god...>.<
too bad is we help them much it makes them everything count on us "TOO MUCH"...

because she does not know what the true happen on me, and thought she knew everything about me. I remember, one night she call me to told about her hubby to me then suddenly we chat about my love(my bf)...because he have to go singapore working and i still stay to continue my study. Sometime i really scare if got anything happen that it just like my ex-boyfriends(first guy) does, so i crying told her "IF" really have no choice.."i let go"..ya. i still remember what i had say to her. After that, she change topic already so my story not really completely speak it out....then i bet she start to doubting me. but duh, ya she had support me but on the other hand she doubt on me. thanks for caring of my love's (bf) one, but still i should say on the rude way "mind of your business"..=.= we didn't need your help either, and we already settle down without let them know, because as i say this is our privacy that i meant.
sometime i do think about did she really start fell in love of my love(negative side), because every time she call me it will be mention about him. =.="

Na, FORGET about it.....

but i didnt blame her anymore, because it's not worth anymore...

but to tell myself, i'm not that kind of girls like "play girls",

alright then, here is my little story that she mistook me, why she think i'm the "bitches":

the first guy i love it is the person i love and also is the part of my mistake that why i choose him....

Erm, i'm not really remember how we had start but 8 months been together that we not "actually" been together..., just message at night, every time i find him..he do have an excuse, even been together, walk together but still act like friends, and he told me that he still likes his ex-girlfriend and hope can chase her back right in front of me...and he never told others that our relationship to others, seem like hidden relationship.. this kind of feeling border me very long time and disappointed and i just keep at silent in 8 months without telling any of my friends, because of he didn't told others so makes me that i can't tell....so sAD...=(

i hope someone can listen me!!!!

i keep this sadness, lonely, dismay heart in 8 months...

once i got the chance but why every time only i listen people story but no one willing listen me...

so i rather choose not to tell anymore...just keep deep inside my heart.

and i'm not here to judge her or the first guy and another guy, seriously..

i just know is time to speak it out!!! >.<

suddenly another guy had came, he know me and him are been together but he still wanna be with me...he started....

thats time i was really really that sad, and not one can listen my mine that i need to tell to....and i was very lonely that he(the first guy) could left me behind like this...on that situation cause i'm felt so alone, no love..then i had agree to be with him(the second guy). because i do it cause he(first guy) make me do this.... >.<

so my mistake had begun!!! i know i had meke a terrible mistake in my life... =( >.<

but, thank god had help me....i found out he(second guy)have a girlfriend right behind of me...i ask him "why"...he told me that i'm just his special friend not his girl-friends...suddenly i felt i wanna die....i cry all night long and no one know this happen....

no longer that both i had been give up....

so above this is my very worst memories and story ever X(

HAHA, but one things is

TIME IS RUNNING FAST....suddenly i met the one i love, and he is truly love me...and he is the person i'm loving right now.... =)

he enlighten me on, i feel i more talkative becaus eof him... well, thanks to her that she told me uncompleted story to my love at the back on me...

but still, i know whats going on...and we have argue...then i only told him about my secret...i felt very extremely happy that he won't care what i done before..he believe me..an i thank god that he believe in me.... ^.^

i was try to tell him when we start going together at the first time, but the reason is because i love him that i'm not dare to tell him...i'm scare he can't accept that will cause us break up...so i still keep in my heart.. =.=" but now i feel so freedom that i tell him the truth... =) thats how a longest relationship is "communicate" is part of every couple now...